Tuesday 28 October : New Moon

It's really dark. I couldn't see very well at all. Frustrating! But, I didn't trip and fall, tho my foot did slightly connect with Fergus' head at one point when I could not see he was sniffing just in front of my foot. Why is it so dark? Just the clouds. Are they that thick?

I just realized I forgot to let the 3 little Papaya Bugs out of their room before our walk.

I began to feel really tired yesterday and intensely grumpy as the evening wore on. I am still rather irritable. I must be PMSing. What else can it be, to come over me so suddenly?

The water heater replacement bill didn't help much. 800 bucks. I sure didn't expect that, not after L told me it would be "less than 500". I had originally thought 800, at the most, and had thought to ask the Relief Fund for 400. But then I received my property tax rebate, which was 500, so I have to get 300 from my savings. I had wanted to get glasses, but I guess not yet. Which is disappointing since I was beginning to look forward to being able to see clearly again! After how many years of not being able to? Oh well oh shit oh crap whatever, such is my fucking life. Maybe it will work out some other way. And, the water heater was 20 years old, near about.

I didn't wash Fergus with vinegar last night and he didn't seem to worry at himself so much overnight -- but I think the vinegar stings all the little open places. I will most certainly do it this morning. I have a ton of dishes to do too, pots and pans and bowls and whatnot. I didn't even wash my face last night, I was so tired, and grumpy. And dark! It is so dark! But I did brush my teeth. I did that anyway. And I slept well. The cats howl like fucking little banshees first thing in the morning. It is a most unholy noise. Honestly, it is not pleasant to wake up to. I yelled at them. Sometimes I just hate them. But I am so irritable right now. Even Bella annoys me, but I couldn't precisely say for what beyond her mere presence! How about that---

Work was fine yesterday, tho we have another stupid situation brewing with the bitch lawyer next door and the Village too, possibly. The rocks out back. The pea stones as EP called them. I could see L imploding with worry, his dark circles deepening.

I don't even really know what time it is. I got up about 10 minutes earlier 'cause why not. One of those. And so I did. But the walk felt awkward and slow as I bumbled along in the dark, the dogs pausing and sniffing and tumbling about. It was dark last night when we went out too. Have I mentioned I don't much care for the dark? Have I? Hmmmmm

M called me at work yesterday. I managed to piss her off. Being a mom. What can I say. I am here to remind her of reality.

I hear rain. I am glad it wasn't raining when we walked. The wind sure kicked up though, mighty powerfully at one point. It felt so good. It blew all the darkness that dared cling to me away. It was so great.

I must be PMSing. I feel vaguely nauseous. I don't know what it is. Fergus doesn't seem to be as bothered by his back anymore. But his feet and underparts. Still working on the back legs. They are covered by the infection. Bella has a bit on her back. I cleaned her last night.