Monday 17 November

I didn't write yesterday. Took a day off. I was feeling fairly wrung out from working at the supper the night before. I went down around 6 and finished around 9. D gave me a lift home and we sat in her car in my driveway and talked for half an hour or so. Then I came in and took a hot bath. My feet and back were tired. But I didn't sleep well. There were 2 cats in my room, P and Matthew, and I was too tired to deal with them. But my mind couldn't rest all night and so I slept lightly despite my fatigue.

And I went to church, and managed to do more than a passable job on the anthem, sight reading the whole way but it was a pretty song, and an easy one too.

JD gave me lots of leftover food from the supper -- pie and squash and kraut and bread. Good bread. That was all very nice. And I got to catch up with BW -- he had gotten a buck that morning and told me he could give me more venison soon. We talked dogs too, and I told him all about Fergus' ailments, and then we talked about ticks.

I was busy around the house after church but it was a contented busy, not a harried busy. I ordered some Christmas gifts for M over the phone. I can do that now since she doesn't live here all the time! But I am looking forward to her being home for all the holidays.

And the imminence of the holidays makes me realize how busy and somewhat demanding a time that can be, and that I need to discipline myself a bit more to get myself out there and get things done. I have decided I'll sing at the ecumenical Thanksgiving worship and that I will make sure I have a ride down to choir every week so that I will, indeed, get there. I want to sing on Christmas Eve and I will probably sing at the Christmas concert too. It is simply something I do, and getting myself out and doing it all will put me back in the right place for all the holiday outings and obligations. It is simply a busy time of year coming up, and I need to get into the swing of it. And then once it is all done, and winter sets in in earnest, I can crawl back into my bear cave hidey hole if need be!

Anyway. Back to work today. It is chilly out but not cold and not unpleasant. The sunrise was glorious, deep indigo clouds under girded by brilliant vivid red, reflecting the sun's bright light below that. And then it all faded away into a gentle lavender. Splendid. Fantastic. What a miracle of ever changing beauty the sky is.

I can sit here and look at my plants in this corner in front of the big southern facing windows and feel such peace and contentment. What a beautiful blessing that is. Years back before I had this place, when I still lived in hell with FF, I would often see in my mind's eye a space very much like this corner, if it were emptied of all I have added to it. And I can remember that Sunday when I first came to see the house, for sale, and walking around this way, into the space and the light and something clicking into place inside me, knowing it was home. Those are things I can't explain to a transient like L who is not rooted in a place like I am. He is in many ways a true wandering Jew, setting down roots nowhere, but making the entire world his home. Not that that is a bad thing. It is simply a different thing.

Anyway, end of the page. Time for tea and what all comes next.