Tuesday 25 November

We had a chilly, wet walk. At least we did not get the snow and slush that was also predicted is all I can say. The valley is intensely beautiful in a way I would never imagine shades of grey, white, and black to be.

So it's Tuesday. M comes back tonight. It will be a long day but I think it will be a good day.

Work is still busy but manageable. The prospect of Thur-Fri off lightens my heart considerably.

I slept so comfortably, warmly wrapped in soft blankets and all my layers of clothing in the gentle dark.

I don't know what to say. P sits hunkered down right before me. I hear the hum of the furnace and fish tanks gurgling. I am hungry. It will be a dark day, with rain forecast all day. Rain and 40 degrees -- true November as I know it. The dogs are wet, naturally, but thankfully the candle is putting out stronger scent than they are. I have been endeavoring to avoid scent as much as possible and my throat is not sore. I keep my face away when I repair candles at work so as to not get a face-full of scent. I am not burning as many candles here as I usually do, and I haven't lit any incense in my room in several days, but with the damp, I may have to anyway.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner, and to M simply being home. My phone is not repaired yet even tho the phone company says it is. I found out there are other people here in the village who also have extreme static on the line like I do. It makes me consider getting a cell phone, something I said I'd never do! But it's be kind of cool to have a personal communication device like that -- right out of Star Trek. But, I probably won't do that. I notice whatever it is that is up with the phone disrupts the DSL connection also. All I really know is, I don't want that phone guy in my house and I am not answering the door if he comes. Like I said, I tested it outside and it is outside where the problem is.

So, whatever!

I honestly didn't enjoy our walk. I didn't want to get wet and my boots were clumpy and uncomfortable. So I wasn't able to fully appreciate the soft, misty freshness. Mostly I was annoyed, in a state of annoyance. I am tired too. I get tired of being tired. It makes me wonder if something is wrong with me. Tho I don't think there is. I think I am simply a highly sensitive person and the world tears at me, grates one me, and pulls at me. Rarely giving me anything back. The world is too noisy and too full of hardship, darkness, and pain.

I told L&J yesterday about the disagreement I am having with people over the Christmas Concert and that I probably won't sing. J had brought it up first, because she saw the sign out at the church.

Right now, here in this corner, these plants provide me with a deep sense of peace when I sit and simply look at them. Truly look at them. What a blessing and a miracle they are.

I hinted to M that if she found a warm winter coat she wants that I'd buy it for her. I understand that she is in the city and does not want to schlump around in her ski parka. I want her to be warm and would buy her a good coat if she found one she wanted.

I realized the bus from Boston gets to Albany in less than 4 hours. That's a smooth shot, very nice, the best you can do besides flying. I wonder how much it costs to fly? It cost her $76 round trip on the bus.