Sunday 9 November

Just got back from cleaning the church. JD stopped in to give me some homemade dog treats she got at a craft fair and to tell me the sewer line was fixed and it was safe to clean the toilets again. Had I done them yet? No, I like to save the best for last --

It rained a lot yesterday and was quite dim and grey, but today looks to be opening up to blue. Brighter. Nice. Still on the warm side, and damp. We saw a deer when we walked, up ahead of us. I had suspected one might be there, by the way Fergus was trotting so determinedly forward. I saw a flash of white tail over in the trees, and the hopping grace of the brown deer. I steered the dogs off the opposite way. And where in the recent past, Fergus would have jumped and yipped and yipped at the sight of the deer, today he only jumped. My older bear. He seems in very good spirits today tho, friendly and affectionate. I do love those dogs so and would be lost without them.

I am still tired today but not quite so much so. Mostly I am stiff and have pain -- wrist, ankle, hip, back, shoulder. The old work horse needs a good rubdown. Or perhaps another hot soak in the salt and the oil. That's good too. I don't know why salt works that way in the bath, but it certainly does work.

Fergus has gone back out. He saw Maya sitting out further over and did his leap off the porch thing, but not nearly so fast and dramatically as he would have even a few months ago. I understand his health is not the best, but he seems improved. I think the Lyme Disease and the poor nutritional content of that other dog food have a lot to do with it. The antibiotics he was on for the Lyme opened him up to the yeast infection. I did more reading on it yesterday to see if there is more I can do. Other than buying all kinds of fancy products which the Internet is of course full of -- I think I am on the right track. I decided only to give him yogurt in the morning in addition to the evening.

I counted up my change yesterday but I don't have enough to go buy cat litter. At least I did not get another bounced check notice in the mail yesterday, so now I have to try and figure out my balance and how much I need to put back in. I have yet to receive the 300 from the Relief Fund to help with the water heater replacement and I am beginning to wonder if I will ever see it. I am trying not to panic and freak out and despair about this. I am trying very hard to stay calm.

I hear crows and geese outside. I saw a lot of crows this morning, standing in the yellow and orange leaves, digging through them. It was a funny sight. I love crows, love their raucous nonsense and utter disregard for what people might think of them and of what they are doing.

I am enjoying my Sunday mandarin oranges. I am afraid that was the last can the Pantry had to offer. Until more are donated. I love them. So crisp and wet and orange. I got some english muffins too. I don't know if I have the energy for church. At this moment, I feel like I don't. I think I must have slipped into a trough of depression. The fatigue, the apathy, the confused thinking and inability to plan or organize effectively. Thankfully I can still read, at least. Thankfully! I finished the novel yesterday and went back to Hillary Clinton's memoir last night. I have another novel too but may visit the library tomorrow evening anyway.