I don't feel like doing this writing. I am frankly at the end of my rope, exhausted, frayed, coming apart. Today is Friday, thankfully, and that helps except another snow storm is on the way, promising up to 10 inches. And so M won't be back today -- they are going to wait out the storm and come back tomorrow. I am coming apart at the seams. I feel tired, headachey, sore throat, stuffy nose, upset stomach. I think it is sheer fatigue, not that I am actually getting sick. I could have slept longer. I lay there in a drowsy state thinking I could soak in a hot bath tonight. I am still cooking those damn chicken thighs for the dogs. I gave some to them last night, and again this morning, and saw they weren't cooked all the way through. I didn't have time to cook them last night as I had extra long choir, and as it was, C waited out front for me as I struggled to get out the door on time. At the very last moment, I couldn't find my keys. But I had switched on the porch light when I first saw her out there so that she'd know I knew she was there. Her car was full of toys for the giveaway thing this weekend, and I helped carry some in. MB was visibly frosty towards me and gave me slightly evil looks. I know P has been talking trash about me -- because she is trash -- ever since I exited from the little Christmas Eve dog and pony show extravaganza. Mel is also back, and she wasn't terrifically friendly but I don't think she'd talk bad about me -- it is just she is too much under her parent's thumb for a woman her age. Too busy trying to be the Perfect One in her vaguely alcoholic family unit. But hey, what the fuck, at least I can see what's what and do what I need to do. Choir kind of unravelled by the end -- I am not the only one feeling frayed around the edges. We are practicing again Monday to fine tune the Christmas Eve music.
I have got to go to the PO today and mail that box. I got a GIANT box from Aunt J and 2 medium sized ones from my mother. I am somewhat embarrassed by the small box I am sending down, but can rest content in the knowledge I picked each gift thoughtfully and carefully. I do not buy into the materialistic fervor that is the essence of the holiday for far too many people. People whose souls are ruled by money and consumerism -- that is their God. But it isn't a God, it is a parasitic addiction like any other, feeding off of them.
And so anyway. More snow on the way. I am not thrilled. I did get suet to feed the birds tho, so I can hang the cage in the apple tree. I bashed open my thumb retrieving the cage from its place on the back porch tho.
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