Got up a bit earlier, because I was awake and knew there was no point in even trying to sleep -- especially not with Inca dancing around my room like a demented fairy.
I have a funeral to attend this morning. When I told someone from church that I'd be there for the service, she snipped, That's nice of you. Apparently these people don't realize that I actually don't need them or their snippy crap and I don't subscribe to "Protestant Lifestyle' magazine. It's enough that I have to miss work -- I don't have the luxury, as they all do, of either getting paid time off or already having the day off or have a partner to share expenses or are retired. Besides the fact work is crazy busy and whenever one of us isn't there, it is all that much more difficult for the rest.
I find myself separating off more and more from these people as time goes on. Tho my heart goes out to BT and CT because it is a bittersweet loss for B and simply a sad one for C.
Mostly I think this morning -- what should I wear? To be appropriate for a funeral, and also be able to wear at my sloppy job? And what time should I march up there? Will it be crowded? Should I go half an hour early? All this nonsense that clutters up my mind.
Matthew is here. I much prefer his softly purring presence to any stinking human with their demands and their noise.
Tho I did have a fair amount of cat drama to deal with when I first went to bed. Topaz was already there, and I let in Inca when she scratched at the door. But then he started attacking her, in his paranoia, and so I threw him out, muttering to myself all the while that someday I will have only dogs. Only dogs!
But then, one good cat wouldn't be a bad thing.
At least it is Friday. I am tired. I carried heavy stuff home again last night. I had choir too. I didn't wash Fergus. I got in later and then walked them. Fergus had barked quite indignantly before I left for choir, because I hadn't walked him then. So I got back and walked them and had tea, and by then Fergus was quite settled into bed and I didn't want to drag him out to torture him with cider vinegar. As it was, Bella peed on the floor yesterday, and I wonder if it is because I have been washing her regularly mornings. She hates it. It stings. But she has a bad case of the yeast on her back, and who knows where else since she is always digging and scratching. This is never ending.
So I guess I need to just loosen up my hold on all the reins today and try to just coast on through. I only have me to depend on, and there is no point in me driving myself crazy. Plenty of other people are already lining up to do that for me today---
I need to fit in as much rest as I can because Sunday will be a very long day. There were arguments at choir about what to wear and where to stand and it was all utter horse shit and I stayed out of it, and there was BE in her sticky sweet fake voice piping up with questions and she never even usually shows up for the event. But I have to remind myself that it is holiday time and people do get all stressed out then! ho ho ho
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