Tuesday 2 December

The sunrise was amber red, with faded denim blue clouds above. It's colder. The dogs were frisky and curious. I didn't see anyone. We walked along.

I was tremendously tired after work last night! Headache tired. Grouchy tired. Honestly. My back hurt. I told myself, Make some tea, get the last of the pumpkin dessert, your glasses, and your book and go sit on the couch. Which I did. With a blanket. To rest my back. It was good. Then I dozed. Then I went to bed and read some more.

I also cleaned Fergus with vinegar last night. I had missed 2 days. He had a big new spot on his back. I think doing him at night is better. Morning is too busy, too crazy. Tho I plan to take care of Bella this morning, brush her and treat her itchy places with the vinegar. I also need to get the rest of that turkey cut up and put away. I was going to last night but then -- just so tired!

Work is busy. Yesterday we got a huge order, a private label corporate gift. Nearly 500 candles. It was all in a scent I don't like too. But I survived. Stopped at Byron's on the way home to get some peanut butter and a new sponge. It was cloudy and dark as I walked home -- couldn't see the crescent moon, Venus, and Jupiter all lined up in the southern sky. I was disappointed. I would have liked to have seen that.

I made a small turkey sandwich on an english muffin yesterday and brought it to work and later realized L might get all weird about meat in his workplace -- he is so kosher without even realizing it, with all his prohibitions -- so I ate it before he got there, and it was delightful.

I really had no patience for whining customers yesterday but I managed to fake it quite grandly.

We got into a spirited conversation about people getting killed while shopping on Black Friday and I am still wondering if I offended J with something I said. She got extra nice to me after that and I am thinking maybe I did, but hopefully, she also realized I didn't mean it, but reading all this Japanese code can be tricky business sometimes.

I am simply trying to keep my head above water, keep doing what needs to be done and not succumbing to fearful and despairing thoughts.

It looks to be a sunny day today, the sky is clear, but that could change.

In my grumpiness last night, I was thinking how M can often be so snotty and mean about other people. I was thinking in particular about BD's offer to meet for lunch and how scathing and snobby she was when I told her. Sometimes I think she really isn't a very nice girl. I think she has the capacity but on first approach she can just be so off-putting.

Oh anyway. Inca slept with me last night. She was fine. I was in there thinking of her, and then there she was, scratching on the door. I don't know where Topaz was, I hadn't seen him in some time, and I do know Nick has been gorging on styrofoam during the day and then puking it all over the floor and I can't find his secret styrofoam stash. He acts so reckless and desperate at times, it is really unnerving, and annoying.

Not much else happening. I am just trying to fill these last few lines. I started putting this journal in a blog a month or so back and it is at moments like this that I wonder why I even bother. Boring drivel. The detritus of my mind.