Sunday 7 December

A dusting of snow out there, and more gently falling -- not so much as you can see it, but rather feel it. It was dark when we first went to walk, dark with the thick clouds, and I had to keep reminding myself that it would be getting lighter, not darker.

When I got back from cleaning, I put more seed in the bird feeder. Those little ones really need the seed now that it is colder.

Thankfully the church wasn't too dirty and it looked like an effort had been made to clean the hall after all the activity in there on Friday.

I have made it a priority to get the fish tanks cleaned between church and concert, and if I can't get to the floors until tomorrow morning, well then. I was deeply tired yesterday, tired to the point of apathy and very much focused on my inner life rather than the outer one. I got some writing done, some reading done, some cleaning and cooking done. I cooked the turkey carcass into a thick rich fatty broth for the dogs, full of meat. So good for them. I may just stop buying them canned dog food and do something like this for them instead, and just keep a few cans on hand for when it was extra busy or whatever.

I did some laundry yesterday too. And really I have so much to do today, I can only approach it in increments, staying very much in the present moment, and letting the present carry me along like a great river.

I had sent an email to FF about him being so far behind on child support payments and he sent me back a detailed message about all his financial woes. I honestly felt true pity and compassion as I read it. He wasn't making it up. So I simply wrote him back to say M needs to understand a bit more clearly how it is for him because she is currently hurt and resentful about his non contribution financially to her life. It's pathetic really. A mess.

I am more interested in eating my pilfered mandarin oranges than in writing this. I felt tired and stiff as I pushed myself by force of will back up the hill after cleaning. My hips are stiff this morning with the damp. Now I understand why yesterday felt so cold -- snow on the way. Honestly people are already salting the shit out of the world out there and the snow is barely enough to cover the ground. It doesn't even cover the grass, only paved areas.

I slept pretty well, had an odd dream with scary ships in the sky, lights cutting through cloud, being lost and yet found, a young child running to me and clinging to me, all very odd.